Being present

A journalist in the Guardian newspaper wrote recently, “Against Leicester City on Boxing Day, Virgil van Dijk took to 50 the number of successive league games he has played every minute of. This alone does not explain why the Dutchman is such an effective leader, nor why his Liverpool side are currently so successful, but it certainly helps. There are many kinds of captain, many ways of leading, but above all the one unarguably necessary thing is to be present.”

The art of leadership has many facets but it very often comes down to one thing, being present, actually being there in the room, being there on the pitch. Giving your full attention, engagement in the moment.

Wherever you are in the world, whatever culture you live in, whatever role you play, the only way to influence is to be present. The ability to inspire and motivate others comes through authentic connection.

I recently read this definition of presence: “Presence is being present, in the present moment, with the people present, and becoming a present to them.”

On a recent visit to Sri Lanka, I sat down with a young woman called Nishma, and as we chatted away, she ‘casually’ mentioned that when she turned 19 last year, rather than have a party with her peers, she decided to do something different. Her ambition is to qualify as a doctor, so in the future she can, “invest her earnings into something worthwhile.” Like stand up for the poor and marginalised.

In the meantime, rather than throw a party for her friends Nishma adopted a concept that is directly linked to the teachings of Jesus in Luke 12; "When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or your relatives, or your rich neighbours; if you do, they might invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame and the blind and you will be blessed. Although they can not repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Nishma connected with a local organisation in Wellawatta, a suburb in Columbo, who focus on children from backgrounds of extreme poverty, where many of the parents are addicted to drugs or alcohol. She spoke to her friend who runs this non-profit and together they arranged for 15 of the most disadvantaged children to come to Nishma’s home and spend the afternoon, playing games, eating food and just having a good time, all of which was a totally foreign concept to each of the children present.

At the end of their party each child took home a special gift. All of this paid for by Nishma who is a student and doesn’t have much money herself. She practiced the above quote, by becoming present in the moment with the children and became a present to them. Her influence stretches far beyond that party today. Every time she encounters any of the children they cry out, “the lady who gave us a party.’

Why am I sharing this? Primarily, because it is an inspirational story with an action that should make us all stop and think and maybe do something similar? Secondly, we can all be present in a place where we can influence. To cultivate real presence, you have to be intentional.  

Sadly, we live in a day where in Western society we would prefer to work from home rather than go into the office, we would rather scroll through Instagram than meet up with friends for a coffee, many actively avoid meeting together at all.

But presence goes beyond being in the moment. To be present with others, just like the example of Nishma or Virgil van Dyke, we must understand them, whoever they are, whatever their background, whatever their age. We must make an effort to understand the needs of those we are engaging with, those with whom we are present, their aspirations, their dreams, the concerns and fears.

When we are present, when we offer our full attention, we can listen beyond the surface. Through our being available, with our intentionality to be present we will have impact. The people who are important to you, the people you lead, your family, yourself deserve your presence and your full attention. Make a decision today to make it your intention to be present. How will you show up for the people who matter most within your sphere of influence?

The answer to this question may define your impact as a person and as a leader.

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Mark Andrews

Founder of Sturr.org

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